Scribd Feed for category: HumorThis is a feed for documents in the category Humorconcorrencia- July 28, 2008 UNIVERSIDADE ESTADUAL VALE DO ACARA - UVA COMISSO EXECUTIVA DO PROCESSO SELETIVO - CEPS VESTIBULAR 2008.1 CURSOS 01 ADMINISTRAO 02 BIOLOGIA 03 BIOLOGIA 04 CINCIAS CONTBEIS 05 CINCIAS DA COMPUTAO 06 CINCIAS HAB. MATEMTICA 07 CINCIAS SOCIAIS 08 CINCIAS SOCIAIS 09 DIREITO 10 EDUCAO FSICA 11 ENFERMAGEM 12 ENGENHARIA CIVIL E AMBIENTAL 13 FILOSOFIA 14 FILOSOFIA 15 FSICA 16 GEOGRAFIA 17 HISTRIA 18 LETRAS HAB. EM LNGUA INGLESA 19 LETRAS HAB. EM L. PORTUGUESA 20 LETRAS HAB. EM L. PORTUGUESA 21...http://www.scribd.com/doc/4211582/concorrencia Low Sperm Count- July 26, 2008 Low Sperm Count A 70 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow." The next day the 70 year old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on - the previous day.The doctor asked what happened and the man explains: "Well, doc, it's like this: First I tried with my right hand, but, nothing. Then I tried with-my left hand, but still...http://www.scribd.com/doc/4107381/Low-Sperm-Count Things I Hate- July 26, 2008 9 Things I Hate About Everyone1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is2. People who are willing to get off their censored to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it4....http://www.scribd.com/doc/4107379/Things-I-Hate Money Owed- July 26, 2008 A beautiful young woman gets out of the shower, wraps a towel around her form and tells her husband that he can get in the shower. As he enters the shower, the doorbell rings. The wife says she'll get the door and goes downstairs. When she opens the door, she sees her neighbor, Bill, whose mouth opens wide at the sight of her shimmering form. He pulls out two one hundred dollar bills and tells her that they are hers if she will just let the towel fall to her waist. She thinks why not and drops..http://www.scribd.com/doc/4107386/Money-Owed The Little Blackmailer- July 26, 2008 A married man locks his son in the closet whenever his lover comes over. One day, in the middle of having sex with his lover, he hears his wife's car coming up the driveway. He pushes his lover into the closet with the boy."It sure is dark in here," the boy says to the lover, who agrees."Hey mister," the boy goes on. "Wanna buy my baseball""No thanks," says the lover."I think you really should buy my baseball," the boy says, and the lover catches on that he's being blackmailed. "Okay, how much".http://www.scribd.com/doc/4107382/The-Little-Blackmailer Knickerless- July 26, 2008 Knickerless Joe is sitting on a train across from abusty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realises she has gone without underwear.The blonde realises he is staring andinquires, "Are you looking at my pussy""Yes, I'm sorry," says Joe and promises to avert his eyes."It's quite alright," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you."Sure enough the pussy blows him..http://www.scribd.com/doc/4107385/Knickerless Wise Words Combinations- July 26, 2008 Wise Words CombinationsSmart man + smart woman = romanceSmart man + dumb woman = pregnancyDumb man + smart woman = affairDumb man + dumb woman = marriageSmart boss + smart employee = profitSmart boss + dumb employee = productionDumb boss + smart employee = promotionDumb boss + dumb employee = overtimeA man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.A man never worries about the future until.http://www.scribd.com/doc/4107380/Wise-Words-Combinations Copier Warning- July 26, 2008 Copier Warning This machine is subject to breakdown during periods of critical need.A special circuit in the machine called a "critical detector" senses the operator's emotional state in terms of how desperate he or she is to use this machine. The "critical detector" then creates a malfunction proportional to the desperation of the operator. Threatening the machine with violence will only aggravate the situation. Likewise, attempts to use another machine may cause it to also malfunction. (They..http://www.scribd.com/doc/4107383/Copier-Warning Ways to Tell Someone Their Fly is Open- July 26, 2008 Ways to tell someone their fly is open 20. The cucumber has left the salad.19. I can see the gun of Navarone.18. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.17. You've got Windows on your laptop.16. Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.15. Your soldier ain't so unknown now.14. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.13. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.12. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...11. Your.http://www.scribd.com/doc/4107378/Ways-to-Tell-Someone-Their-Fly-is-Open |