5 Today Show Host Tips.- April 30, 2008 Five Tips On How To Be A Today Show Host:1) Practice changing your somber look instantly into a cheerful one as you segue from a story about starvation in Africa to a story about an American who just ate 100 hot dogs in 30 minutes.2) Learn to ramp up your voice and yell questions at people you're interviewing even though they're sitting only 3 feet away. AKA "The Lauer Loudness"3) When you have to endure going outside to be with the plaza crowd, just go ahead and be a dick. AKA "The Roker..http://cosmicwatercooler.blogspot.com/2008/04/5-today-show-host-tips.html Hannah Balls- April 29, 2008 My little daughter watches Hannah Montana so the phenom has been a little on my radar, but now Hannah (Miley Cyrus) did some awesome Anne Leibovitz Vanity Fair pictures which are making Soccer Moms all across America gasp and say inane shit like, "After seeing those photos, I don't think I can allow my children to watch her show or listen to her music anymore!"Most anything that pisses off a Soccer Mom is A-OK with me.Don't be a tool, Miley. Grow some juevos and flip them all the bird!Now here.http://cosmicwatercooler.blogspot.com/2008/04/hannah-balls.html Some Nurses- April 28, 2008 I'll toot my own horn here and say I kick ass on the medsurg floor.Yeah, it's deplorable that there's a nursing shortage and staffing levels are constantly dangerous, and sometimes the shit is so scary you want to jump out the 9th floor window screaming. I work a job that is not only revolving-door exasperating, it is downright guaranteed to take you on a ride through Dante's Inferno at least once per shift. Picture a nurse beside a bed held fast by the occupant's near-dead claws as the nurse.http://cosmicwatercooler.blogspot.com/2008/04/some-nurses.html Are They Kidding- April 24, 2008 The news media on Tuesday: yawn "It doesn't matter if Hillary wins Pennsylvania or not, Barack still has the majority of popular and super-delegate votes. Nobody cares." ho-humThe news media on Wednesday: squeal "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!! HILLARY'S BACK IN THE GAME!!" pant pantGive me a break.Now here it is, your url of the day:http:www.metaglossary.comhttp://cosmicwatercooler.blogspot.com/2008/04/are-they-kidding.html Clueless George- April 23, 2008 George Lucas is a bitter man. Why Because he went for style over substance with his Star Wars prequels and ended up with soulless pieces of crap. Now he blames his monumental fuck-up on fans!Here he is in a recent Entertainment Weekly interview, along with Steven Spielberg (who wisely backs away):ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: So why resurrect Indy after all these yearsGEORGE LUCAS: We're doing it to have fun. We're not doing it to say, Oh, we're gonna get an Academy Award, everybody's gonna love...http://cosmicwatercooler.blogspot.com/2008/04/clueless-george.html Nursing Supers Say The Darndest Things- April 21, 2008 It's a high point of hospital life when you have to call the House Supervisor. They are always chock full of inspiration, charisma, and pep! In fact, if they'd only wear a cheerleader outfit then they'd be complete.Here are some examples of the exciting things they say:Floor Nurse: We've had a DNR death in Room 908.House Super: So I guess you've got a room open now. Is it male or femaleFloor Nurse: An oxygen tank just got dropped and blew like a missile all over the unit destroying...http://cosmicwatercooler.blogspot.com/2008/04/nursing-supers-say-darndest-things.html Quietest Anger, Ever- April 17, 2008 The Texas polygamy drama going on right now is a car wreck everyone is slowing down to see.There are issues on both sides: the group is obviously a suspicious and creepy cult and the state obviously went overboard with removing all the children (or maybe not).What fascinates me about it is the cult women and their voices. They all speak and sound like tiny anemic mice! What's that about Do the men (or the man) beat them if they raise their voices a littleSweet Zombie Jesus, ladies! The...http://cosmicwatercooler.blogspot.com/2008/04/quietest-anger-ever.html Speaking Truth- April 14, 2008 That's it. This blog officially endorses Barack Obama for President.(It's a pitiful blog, I know, but sniff it's all I got.)http:www.ontheissues.orgBarack_Obama.htmNow here it is, your url of the day:http:cool-mo-dee.blogspot.com(which features some awesome Halloween linkage!)http://cosmicwatercooler.blogspot.com/2008/04/speaking-truth.html Improv Everywhere Does It Again- April 8, 2008 The awesome folks at Improv Everywhere invaded an afternoon little league game and blew their minds by providing a NBC jumbotron and play calls by Jim Gray, a Goodyear blimp, mascots, and tons of fans to create a big league atmosphere.Absolute fun!!Now here it is, your url of the day:Carl Zimmer's Science Tattoo Emporiumhttp://cosmicwatercooler.blogspot.com/2008/04/improv-everywhere-does-it-again.html |