Mark Hoback: FGAQ: Big UniverseSo big you can fit anything inside.(Untitled)- January 30, 2004 At the Mall under the influence of Iraq & too much Monty Python Man: Pardon me, Miss. I&146;d like to buy a good scaring. Clerk: Aww, you&146;re looking for the Fear Factory, aren&146;t you They&146;re all the way down at the other end of the mall. Man: This is the House of Emotion, is it not Clerk: Yes it is. Good day, what can I do for you sir Man: Well, as I was just saying, I&146;m interested in a good frightening. I was wondering if you could scare my socks off. Clerk: Fraid.http://blogs.salon.com/0001424/categories/bigUniverse/2004/01/29.html#a78 (Untitled)- January 30, 2004 DARKPROFITSMany people are searching for info on Dark Profits today, and at first I was not sure why. I couldn&146;t log into their scary website at www.darkprofits.com either, and I&146;m guessing their traffic and their bandwidth are miles apart. They apparently sent out another mass mailing today which has people trying to hunt them down and insert a funky boot up their posteriors. I wrote about Dark Profits a few months ago, but those notes have since been swallowed up&133; ..http://blogs.salon.com/0001424/categories/bigUniverse/2004/01/29.html#a77 (Untitled)- January 28, 2004 Paradise Very LostThe older we become, the harder it gets to make our daily lives seem even remotely hip. But listen, as dedicated baby boomers who are never gonna die, we&146;ve got to keep on trying. It is a dreary reality that the poor souls we see on the seven o&146; clock network news are our peers. I&146;m not talking about the news items themselves. No, I&146;m talking about the hell portrayed during the commercials, the hell of heartburn and high blood pressure, incontinence..http://blogs.salon.com/0001424/categories/bigUniverse/2004/01/28.html#a67 (Untitled)- January 27, 2004 Hail Yeah!A reader asks: Are there any lyrics to 'Hail to the Chief' You know, the jaunty little number that announces the arrival of the president. I figure if there are any lyrics, they must be bloody awful, because, like, nobody ever sings them. Good news for you, reader! I found them. The music was written by James Sanderson back in 1812, and the lyrics (such as they are) were added by Albert Gamse in 1815. The first president to ever be greeted by this delightful ditty was John.http://blogs.salon.com/0001424/categories/bigUniverse/2004/01/27.html#a60 (Untitled)- January 26, 2004 From today's Washington Post, re: international assistance in Iraq. The recruitment of multinational forces, a Defense Department official said, is also proving problematic. The Hungarians, for example, have offered to send a truck company to Iraq but have no trucks, the official said. "They contribute 133 drivers, but no trucks, or mechanics, or anything else," he added. In related news, Mexico has volunteered to provide the assistance of the 23rd Backhoe Brigade, complete with...http://blogs.salon.com/0001424/categories/bigUniverse/2004/01/26.html#a52 (Untitled)- January 26, 2004 The Home Team Holy, holy, holy, merciful and mighty!God in three Persons, blessed Trinity! - 19th century Christian hymn The always provocative Steve Raker showed up in the mail last night with this: I can understand the sharp divide between those who believe in zero gods and those who believe in one god. But after the tremendous philosophical vault to get from...http://blogs.salon.com/0001424/categories/bigUniverse/2004/01/26.html#a51 (Untitled)- January 25, 2004 Cooking up Something Good!from 'The Youth Online Club' - Kitchen Safety Find out if you have permission to use the toaster, oven, stove and microwave. If not, don't use them. Keep emergency numbers by the phone. Don't cook when wearing shirts with long, baggy sleeves or with your hair hanging down in your face. You could catch on fire. Steam burns. Be careful of escaping steam with lifting casserole or saucepan lids. Be very careful of boiling water and other boiling liquids. They.http://blogs.salon.com/0001424/categories/bigUniverse/2004/01/25.html#a39 (Untitled)- January 24, 2004 Wolverton MountainThis is a sad song, aye... A really sad song. We learned it for our set tonight... Ya know, we give and we give. This is historic... There's a tip bowl by the door. Can somebody give me an E Okay, thank you Elroy, hold just a sec, my G strings gone out again... okay then, here we go. Oh wait, run down and get your dobro out of the minivan Chester... This is gonna take a lot of you back. Heh, heh, some of you younger uns, it's goona take you back before you was..http://blogs.salon.com/0001424/categories/bigUniverse/2004/01/24.html#a20 (Untitled)- January 21, 2004 What a day for politics it's been! And I'm ignoring it all in order to present you with news about the marketing impact that the Mars mission is having here on the Earth. Earth is a planet, boys and girls. See! We're learning at the same time that we follow our inner need to explore new frontiers. It's too frigging bad that it's not Christmas again, because I bet that Santa would be as excited as a monkey in a banana factory if he saw the new Mars toys making the rounds! They're...http://blogs.salon.com/0001424/categories/bigUniverse/2004/01/21.html#a7 |