Genius Toiling in ObscurityThey can't call you a has-been if you never were.<br /> ---a weblog about books, faith, babies, and daily life, by the irrepressible Su Penn---Water, Water, Everywhere. And, Man, It Really Stinks- May 26, 2004 I love nothing better than getting rid of things, and have fantasized about saying, "Just pitch it all! Except the boxes labeled Baby Clothes. We're gonna use those!" I figure anything we haven't used or missed in over a year should just be carried quietly out of the house. But I can never convince David to sign on to a plan like that.http://www.supenn.com/genius/000232.html Reflections on Hospital Births- May 20, 2004 Please don't fear the hospital, and don't fear the medical interventions that, used appropriately, can help ensure your safety and the well-being of your baby. Mothers arriving at the hospital to give birth are not delivering themselves into the hands of Satan's Minions.http://www.supenn.com/genius/000231.html Proof that I'm not as smart as I seem- May 20, 2004 As happened when Eric was born, within minutes of Carl's birth I was dreaming about the next baby. Never mind that I was miserable during both my pregnancies. Never mind that I kept telling my friends, "Getting pregnant a second time after being so sick when I was pregnant with Eric was optimistic; getting pregnant a third time would be just plain stupid." Never mind that, committed as I am to spacing children at least three years apart, the youngest I could be when Number Three was...http://www.supenn.com/genius/000230.html Does This Count- May 18, 2004 It's maybe not the best time for me to be watching a movie about someone with full-blown OCD. As I mentioned in a recent entry, I have "obsessive-compulsive tendencies" myself, and watching Cage fall to pieces is making my heart beat a little faster in a "there but for the grace of God" kind of way. Especially right now, when all our monitors are on high alert for a possible recurrence of my post-partum depression.http://www.supenn.com/genius/000229.html Well, That's A Change- May 12, 2004 Yesterday around 5 p.m., Carl started an eating marathon that lasted until 10. We had a pleasant evening, during which we met friends for dinner, ate ice cream, visited with each other. I even mowed part of our badly-overgrown front lawn (it's amazing how overgrown a lawn that is mostly dead can get). But by 10, I was so tired that I literally couldn't walk a straight line across the room. I barely remember getting into bed at all, though I think I fed Carl one last time and cuddled Eric for a..http://www.supenn.com/genius/000228.html From the Crazy Days- May 11, 2004 At the end of the day, I tell my lover, I took a shower today. I braided my hair. I loaded the dishwasher and opened the mail. I wrote one paragraph, and she understands that I have triumphed in these small things, that I was frightened of the dirty kitchen, frightened of my tangled hair, frightened of the mail, frightened to write, because each of those tasks reminds me of all the other tasks that await my attention and will await my attention for the rest of my long life and which I will...http://www.supenn.com/genius/000227.html On Mental Illness- May 11, 2004 No one will ever make a movie about my mental illness, Generalized Anxiety Disorder with Obsessive-Compulsive Tendencies. GAD is not glamorous. There's no jetting off to Paris with GAD (the plane might crash, after all). There's only day after day of paralyzing fears and worries, fears and worries so petty on the one hand and so strange on the other that when I tried to write a heartbreakingly honest piece about my anxiety some years ago, the audience laughed when I read it at a reading.http://www.supenn.com/genius/000226.html The Eight-Week Fussies- May 11, 2004 I do like nursing, I have to say. I don't feel a transcendental sense of bonding with Carl when he nurses or anything; what I love about it most is the convenience. It really does make a difference in our lives not to be preparing formula and not to be hauling bottle-feeding gear everywhere we go. Every time I scoop up the baby and my sporty new small-size Land's End diaper bag and breeze out the door, I feel pleasingly unburdened.http://www.supenn.com/genius/000225.html A Mother's Day- May 10, 2004 We should never have gotten out of bed, because once we did, it turned into the Parenting Day From Hell.http://www.supenn.com/genius/000224.html Clearing Out- May 7, 2004 As part of my ongoing de-cluttering project, I just spent fifteen minutes going through two boxes from the top shelf of my closet, both labelled "Su's junk drawer." This is stuff that I packed up at the old house eighteen months ago, and didn't have the energy to go through then.http://www.supenn.com/genius/000223.html |