Mark Hoback: FGAQ: PeopleThe Good, The Bad, and The Funky(Untitled)- January 31, 2004 Poor, poor Jessica Lynch. She suffered, she truly did. Lost in the desert, her bones crushed, her colleagues dead. It was luck, not sand, that jammed her M-16. If she had really gone down in a blaze of gunfire and glory, she would have gone down for good. "We went and we did our job, and that was to go to the war, but I wish I hadn't done it - I wish it had never happened," Lynch says. "I'd give four hundred billion dollars. I'd give anything." There are numerous...http://blogs.salon.com/0001424/categories/fgaqPeople/2004/01/31.html#a92 (Untitled)- January 31, 2004 "Make me look pretty." - Liza to court artist upon arriving in court yesterday to begin divorce proceedings against bizarre 'husband' David Guest. Guest did not appear, according to his lawyer, because Liza has beaten him so bad that he is permanently injured and unable to appear. Guest is asking for seven million to help him with his pain and suffering. Minneli's lawyer produced a videotape of Guest hosting a New Year's Eve concert. (Guest hosting. Priceless.) His lawyer, Raoul...http://blogs.salon.com/0001424/categories/fgaqPeople/2004/01/31.html#a91 (Untitled)- January 31, 2004 It's Not That You're Not Important Miss D. I am so sorry. There&146;s something we need to discuss, right here, right now. You&146;re not the proper person for this department, so I don&146;t want you to have to go through all the hassle of getting comfortable, only to have the seat pulled out from underneath you. Fair enough Let&146;s see what else we have&133; Yes. Yes I do know your daddy. Your daddy is a congressman... Do you want a challenge There are a number of sectors in the.http://blogs.salon.com/0001424/categories/fgaqPeople/2004/01/30.html#a85 (Untitled)- January 29, 2004 Jutting Chin Once... Humbert Humbert has told Lo that her mother is dead, it is a strong and steady drive into madness. There is a piece that takes place after Humbert has seriously hit the road, and has made his move past jealousy and into paranoia. He is still hanging in there, but just barely. As happens with me at periods of electrical disturbance and crepitating lightnings. I had hallucinations. Maybe they were more...http://blogs.salon.com/0001424/categories/fgaqPeople/2004/01/28.html#a74 (Untitled)- January 29, 2004 "I'm ready for my sliming, Mister Hoback"photo (c) 2004, Paul Hinrichs I am recklessly treading into the territory already staked out by World 'O Crap, but as Bill O'Reilly has told us, the internet is a vile and dangerous place. Reckless and lawless, "we have people posting the most vile stuff imaginable, hiding behind high tech capabilities." Which means, basically, that I&146;m free to just barge in and steal their turf. Yes, it&146;s New Years Day, and I am reading the...http://blogs.salon.com/0001424/categories/fgaqPeople/2004/01/28.html#a72 (Untitled)- January 27, 2004 FORMER FIRST LADY IN THE BUFF According to the Round Raoul Newswire, the self-titled &145;King of Late Night Talk&146;, Larry King is hunting for videotape rumored to show former first lady Barbara Bush in the nude. This is just wrong, in so many ways. &147;Things can get wild up at Kennebunkport, and Barbra can create a lot of heat. We have definitely heard the story of her nude speed boating, and I can confirm that we have a plant in the family,'' King told Round...http://blogs.salon.com/0001424/categories/fgaqPeople/2004/01/27.html#a55 (Untitled)- January 26, 2004 For reasons known only to his own personal Lord and Savior, U.S. Army Sgt. Maj. Cesar Castro today visited Saddam Hussein's world famous SpiderHole&153; with a life-sized cardboard cutout of Elvis Presley (skinny version)."It seemed like a good idea to bring Elvis to Saddam's hole to show that Elvis was even here," said Castro, a Dallas native with a serious need for some down time. "I was surprised though. I thought the hole was going to be bigger." It is uncertain whether Castro was...http://blogs.salon.com/0001424/categories/fgaqPeople/2004/01/26.html#a53 (Untitled)- January 26, 2004 You thought I would runHa. Ha. Ha.You are even stupider than me.Or perhaps... uh,You are even stupider than me. That is what I think.You would maybe have voted for me. That is what I think.You are even stupider than me.Why is this negro looking at me You thought I wouldn't runHa. Ha. Ha.You are even stupider than I said before.I mean that in an affectionate way.By stupid, I mean hard working and in need of honest leadership. That is what I think.You will probably vote for me. That is what I.http://blogs.salon.com/0001424/categories/fgaqPeople/2004/01/26.html#a50 (Untitled)- January 25, 2004 Modern Marketing on ParadeFor whiz-bang marketing on demand, it's hard to beat Hero Builders, who already have the 'Captured Saddam' action figure ready to ship for your Christmas gift giving. 12 inches of genuine plastic in an all cotton ace of spades t-shirt for only $29.99. The rush to market, however, means that this doll should be purchased only by the hard core collector. You see, Hero Builders specializes in talking dolls, and this Saddam hasn't found his voice yet. Here's an example..http://blogs.salon.com/0001424/categories/fgaqPeople/2004/01/25.html#a32 (Untitled)- January 25, 2004 Bill O'Reilly Celebrates Milestone Bill O'Reilly gave away his 100,000th copy of 'Who's Looking Out for You', at 1:33 PM EST Friday. The event occurred during the live broadcast of O'Reilly's 'Radio Factor' show. Officials from Guinness were on hand to certify this record breaking accomplishment and pose for photographs. The 100,000th copy was given to a lucky, open minded listener who called in with a really good question about 'whether we should or should not be interested in the..http://blogs.salon.com/0001424/categories/fgaqPeople/2004/01/24.html#a29 |