A SERIES OF OPEN LETTERS:<br>GOOGLE STREET VIEW EDITION- June 23, 2008 Dear Google, Congratulations on owning the Internet. Seriously. Big ups to you for conquering the planet. If I might, I'd like to bring something to your attention. You have this nifty thing on your maps page called Street View. (I know you know about it. You guys know EVERYTHING!) Anyway, for some reason, you found the time and money to drive by my house out in the suburbs and take a photo. (Must cost a bundle to fill up your tank these days.) Not sure why that seemed necessary - it's not like.http://sidesalad.net/archives/003595.html TRYING TO PHOTOGRAPH MY SON IN PUBLIC AT A RESTAURANT ON HIS 13TH BIRTHDAY THINGS THAT EXCEED NORMAL LEVELS OF FRUSTRATION- June 23, 2008 As a food writer, I'm quite proud of the last frame. Not only had I succeeded in blinding my wife at a restaurant, I had made our offspring ashamed enough to cover his face as if he was in the witness protection program. From a parental standpoint, I'd say the 13th year is off to a great start. Happy birthday, Brian. You're the best son a dad could ever have....http://sidesalad.net/archives/003594.html AND NOW HE'S DEAD GEORGE CARLIN- June 23, 2008 As a 13-year-old, I'd go over to my friends' Phil and Steve Porvaznik's house, sit in their bedroom and listen to their George Carlin albums over and over again until we memorized even the applause levels and odd sounds of uncontrolled laughter in the audience. Yeah, we felt like outlaws reciting the Seven Dirty Words. When you're a skinny white geek in 1978, such words stand out like shiny commandments. But there was so much more that made us laugh harder and deeper. Nobody loved words more...http://sidesalad.net/archives/003593.html ADVENTURES IN TRAFFIC:<br>IT'S GREAT TO BE A FLORIDA GATOR EDITION- June 20, 2008 Saw this car on the ride home last night. What does the tag say I hate it when I'm forced to involuntarily read. Is that supposed to be an amalgamation of "GATOR" Because it could so totally be something else. I'm imagining this conversation which never took place: HIM: I put the new custom plates on the back of the BMW today. HER: Great! Let's go see. ::::walking out to the four-car garage:::: HER: frowns Why does it say "GAY HATER" HIM: What No. It's "GATOR."...http://sidesalad.net/archives/003592.html AND NOW IT'S TIME TO PLAY FIND THE FROG NATURE IS SO DAMN COOL- June 20, 2008 The crepe myrtles are exploding in the front yard. Lots of critters are finding safe haven among the foliage. Like this little guy. What little guy This little guy. I really gotta get outdoors more often....http://sidesalad.net/archives/003591.html UNLESS THE TERRORISTS ATTACK OUR PEPPERONI AND MUSHROOMS. THEN IT'S ON!- June 13, 2008 Better ingredients. Better war. Papa John's....http://sidesalad.net/archives/003590.html NEW VERB: NUTTED- June 13, 2008 http:view.break.com516659 - Watch more free videos I wonder: Has he met the kung-fu panda...http://sidesalad.net/archives/003589.html I DON'T THINK THE HEAVY STUFF'S GONNA COME DOWN FOR QUITE A WHILE- June 11, 2008 Summer's back. Yay....http://sidesalad.net/archives/003588.html STARS AND STRIPES FOREVER<br>WHAT I SAW ON DAY 2 AT UNIVERSAL STUDIOS IN ORLANDO- June 6, 2008 I'm dying to see their annual Christmas card....http://sidesalad.net/archives/003587.html JESUS, TAKE THE WHEEL<br>WHAT I SAW ON DAY 2 AT UNIVERSAL STUDIOS IN ORLANDO- June 6, 2008 I'll be the first to admit it. Sometimes I fixate and can't let go. Invariably, I'll see something that makes me laugh... ...an item or items which, when taken out of context, ... ...can be misconstrued wildly to great comedic effect. At least to me, anyway. Having said all that... The idea of SpongeBob with roid rage is pretty messed up....http://sidesalad.net/archives/003586.html |