I, AssholeI, Asshole...where asshats and assmittens sit on it.Overview, Summary, etc.- May 24, 2008 TONIGHT there was one fennel. Just one. It was wee. So it became special fennel. What store has one fennel Ours, that's what. Well, alright. The good news is that when you have one fennel you can cook the halibut at the same time. One pan action. Later I made a cheesecake and Veronica hung out on The Joy of Cooking. She cool. Finally, the birds flocked and watched me make cheesecake. You are never alone when you are with chooks. Have a good weekend, perps.http://iasshole.org/oldass/2008/05/overview_summar.php In Which I Blow Off Life Without Rescheduling, and Sexy Mama May (Installment 2)- May 21, 2008 I've been kind of quiet over here because I've been disorganized and unmotivated and also chickenshit about grabbing brass rings. There is a brass ring that I want REALLY BADLY and I almost grabbed it yesterday, but I did the equivalent of falling off the carousel, scraping my chin, and having my dress fly up over my head, so I am still recovering from that. Is it better to try things and have life say NO, YOU SUCK, or is it better to not try and then go home and flagellate yourself I guess...http://iasshole.org/oldass/2008/05/in_which_i_blow.php In Which Ye Olde Ways Smell Funny- May 19, 2008 Dig if you will the picture, of a pipe burst in my duplex neighbor's bathroom. As we discovered with the other pipe-bursting fiasco, the water shut-off is in the neighbor's house. Since he had water running down his walls, he decided to shut it off. So here I am, who just happened to start my period for the first time in two months (hooked on IUD worked for me) and my hair licked into the shape of an ice cream cone by a drive by llama licking. OKAY, that is a lie. But there are filthy children..http://iasshole.org/oldass/2008/05/in_which_ye_old.php If there was a problem YO I'll solve it (check out the hook while my DJ revolves it)- May 16, 2008 Wow, it got nice all of a sudden. See, if I had the internet in my arm, as is my dream, I could be internetting outside. But no, so Hester Prynne and I are but casual acquaintances. I did just get some fun editing work for a couple of days. I was afraid I was going to be all rusty, but I snapped right into it. It was so fun. I get the same feeling editing text as I used to get looking at van Goghs. Is this a sickness It feels like love. I want more. I hope it's out there for me in September...http://iasshole.org/oldass/2008/05/if_there_was_a.php They See Me RollinThey Hatin- May 15, 2008 GHEY This is the same cockloaf who brought you Britney giving birth. All I can say to recommend this is that it's gold. I think this man should have a cock and balls tattooed to his forehead and all his profits should be forwarded to ME. Moar tomorrow with pics.http://iasshole.org/oldass/2008/05/they_see_me_rol.php Dun Dun Dun DUNNN Jackass Club- May 12, 2008 Yesterday my present was a child who decided to, not once, but twice knock over the water in the new hen pen. This wouldn't be a huge deal when they were smaller and in a pen with a paper towel bottom, but now they frolick in the wood chippery. By sundown I realized they were in soggy town, and I thought that could only breed trouble. So last night they were incarcerated in their ten-gallon aquarium of babyhood, and I couldn't get Fat Guy In a Little Coat out of my head. Sure enough, by morning.http://iasshole.org/oldass/2008/05/dun_dun_dun_dun.php |