I, AssholeI, Asshole...where asshats and assmittens sit on it.Give Us This Day Our Daily Humiliation- June 23, 2008 I have been making fun phone calls today and getting my ducks in a row for the fall. It was a day of those kind of phone calls where you feel like you would take the hit and just lose an arm rather than make. I have vivid fantasies about sticking a math compass in my leg repeatedly. How many pokes til I can be absolved of making phone calls One of those calls was to my ex-husband, and I did not expect to hear from him for days, but he called me back that morning. Shocker! I had the joy of...http://iasshole.org/oldass/2008/06/give_us_this_da.php Famous Asshole Is Famous- June 20, 2008 Hey, you may have gathered from commentland (thank you reader Nuclear Daisy) that I got mentioned in July Esquire for Mans in an article by Roy Blount, Jr. I like that Blount, he seems like an affable goofball on "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me." I would love to have that gig. I can bullshit like CRAZY. I have never actually picked up Esquire for Mans before, and overall it was pretty disappointing. There was an article on OMG, have you noticed skulls are everywhere now in fashion WHAT. Next you...http://iasshole.org/oldass/2008/06/famous_asshole.php Hello, hello, how are things in your little bed What is new, please tell me, Ned- June 18, 2008 "Overprotection is a rejection of your power." --David Richo And now it can be told: school is over and I am so excited I could throw up. I had a few moments there where I almost snapped and ran away and took the children off to the School of Life, aka Piratetry, Mexico, Hoboport, or fill in the blank. Flack, there was flack, flack ahoy. Like a responsible netizen (oh yers I did) I did not tell you that my big kid was walking by herself to and from school...http://iasshole.org/oldass/2008/06/hello_hello_how.php In Which I Have Stuff That Doesn't Really Add Up to A Coherant Thought- June 14, 2008 My friend took me to Zayda Buddy's in Ballard, which is the newish "Midwestern style" restaurant and it offers pizza and things like gravy fries and fried cheese. I am not saying that I am the Queen of Virtuous Living or anything, but I had a really hard time finding anything on the menu I even wanted to order. I was sad to see my friend pay ten dollars for tot casserole. I pretty much agree with most of the people on yelp who have said MEH. I can't really slam it, though. If you know you are...http://iasshole.org/oldass/2008/06/in_which_i_have_1.php Dear MF Diary- June 9, 2008 Dear Stupid Internet Diary, This weekend was both wet and eventful. It was not wet and eventful in a Dear Penthouse Fantasy Forum way, it was more like a sixty-five degrees and pouring and still doing stuff kind of way. Now my coop has a sign, so lost chickens will not be confused. "Which one's this then, I thart the Donkey's Head was round here" "Nar, nar, this be Chook's Respite. Donkey's Head is two blocks yonder." So now you can rest content knowing that chickens talk like bad...http://iasshole.org/oldass/2008/06/dear_mf_diary_1.php The best part is chopping their fucking heads off!- June 5, 2008 Many of the other Web pages devoted to urban chicken farming say nothing at all about butchering. At sites like thecitychicken.com, you can learn about coop construction, hatching eggs, feeding, protecting, and diagnosing chickens. Everything, in short, except what is for me the most satisfying part: the bloodying. From There Will Be Chicken Blood. Seriously Because I think the best part is you know, eggs. And raising them up, and letting them sit in your lap and stuff. I have killed...http://iasshole.org/oldass/2008/06/the_best_part_i.php More Apathetic Than You- June 4, 2008 The hamster got lost for two days, and no one noticed but me. I decided not to say anything. No need to rile people up around here, and either he would turn up, or not.... But no one noticed the cage was empty. It made me realize how much time I spend running this little farm around here, but my older daughter sure likes to take credit. Ah well. The hamster turned up on the basement stairs as I was doing laundry, with a dusty butt and looking tired. I took him home and he had a bite and went..http://iasshole.org/oldass/2008/06/more_apathetic.php This looks like just the thing at the bus stop in the fall- June 1, 2008 Looks warming, doesn't ithttp://iasshole.org/oldass/2008/06/this_looks_like.php |